Fear of Flying …because I’m a Mom

plane

Photo Credit: Ross Parmly   via  Unsplash

This is the week I’ve been waiting for! In just 3 days I will be boarding a plane, destined for Scottsdale, AZ for what will most likely be a weekend that I will remember for the rest of my life. A weekend that I will look back on fondly when I’m a little 90 year old lady, feeling grateful for having had friendships that lasted (literally) almost an entire lifetime.

A girls weekend. A MOM weekend. A TIRED mom/girls weekend.

And not with just any girls…

But the same girls who excitedly called each other’s Teen Lines when we got our first periods, flipped through the pages of Teen Beat together while eating Laffy Taffy, secretly teepeed the cute neighbor boy’s house at 1am, hugged each other when we were broken-hearted, stood up at each other’s weddings, …and every big moment in between.

I’m so excited! So so so so so so SOOO excited!

But… I’m also dreading it…

Because it means I have to fly! And in my crazy, anxiety-ridden mom brain, flying means dying. Seriously, FLYING MEANS DYING! Yeah. It’s THAT bad.

I’ve done some serious jet-setting in my life, so, to me, this fear is so far out of left field. It’s new. But, it’s so real, so paralyzing, so raw!

plane2

I remember a time when I loved everything about flying! I loved the luxury of in-flight movies and cocktails, the view from high up in the sky, and the adventure that awaited me at my destination. What happened to me? What happened is that I lucked out, and have been raising this awesome little family of five. I cherish them all more than anything on Earth, and have a lot of fears about messing up this good thing we’ve got gong on here. 🙂

My fear led me to the interwebs, where I’ve done hours of research regarding: the best prescription anti-anxiety meds, good OTC drugs that’ll knock me out without getting me on the no-fly list, plane crash statistics, self hypnosis, and sooooooo much more.

I’ve found one common denominator in my research. MOST moms are afraid to fly. It’s not just me! And, it’s not an actual fear of “flying” that is scaring me. It’s several things, actually.

First, in my daily life, having control over the events occurring around me is key. I wear a lot of hats, from head chef, to child caretaker, housekeeper, gardener, counselor, chauffeur, not to mention my writing and blogging career. Control is key. I’ll just say it, I’m a control freak! (Just ask my husband)

With all of those hats, the biggest role I play is spouse and mom. These people NEED me. At least, I like to think they do. If anything ever happened to me, who would take care of my babies? And who would take care of my amazing, handsome husband? Some dingbat, 23 year old with a h…….. Wait, let’s not even go there.

I’m also afraid of dying. Not totally because of the actual dying part, although a fiery plane crash is a far cry from dying peacefully in my sleep at 97 like I have all planned out, but because I feel like I haven’t crossed everything off my bucket list yet. I feel like I’ve got lots of unfinished business left here on Earth. Like, I still need to raise my children, write a book, travel more, buy a houseboat, organize my closets, AND have a garage sale! Who would do all that if I wasn’t here? 😉

The last thing, and biggest, is guilt. I live for my family. I just don’t do things like this! I feel horrible for leaving. I feel like I’m abandoning everyone by spending a weekend away. I don’t question how good of a wife and mom I am, I know that I am…yet I can’t escape this guilt. The anxiety associated with the guilt I feel is amplifying my fears and translating them into a fear of flying, when it really has nothing at all to do with being on a plane. It’s about a fear of not being present for my family.

Examining my fears in a very blunt and detailed way is the only thing that has helped me to come remotely close to managing them. I needed to face what was the ultimate bad consequence of travelling, which is dying. I had to think of what would really happen if I’m gone, for a weekend or a lifetime. As bad as this may sound, life will go on without me. Whether I’m gone for 3 days, or forever. (Wow, dramatic much, Kelli?! Sheesh!)

Ultimately, there’s really no huge cure to this, other than turning my fears over to God, which can be hard! I feel like life is meant to be lived, not feared. Ultimately, I KNOW God is in control of my life and has a plan for me, and the statistics favor the fact that His plan isn’t for me to get into a plane crash & die. 🙂

I’ve been blessed with: a happy home, healthy children, the best and most supportive husband I could ever imagine, amazing girlfriends who are strong women of character that I’m beyond proud of and so excited to reunite with this weekend!

I’m going to put my fears aside, pray a lot, gulp a couple huge glasses of wine, get on that plane and enjoy my girls weekend like I’m 18 again! 🙂

Life is good! 🙂

beersun

Are you afraid of flying? Do you have any fears that you’ve had to face head on? Share your comments below! (Email addresses will never be shared and are invisible to the public).

 

Photo Credit:

photo 1: Ross Parmly via Unsplash

photo 2: Agnes Wästlund via Unsplash

photo 3: Wil Stewart via Unsplash

Continue Reading

FREE Nursing Cover For World Breast Feeding Week!

Udder Covers Nursing Cover
Free Nursing Cover From Udder Covers For World Breast Feeding Week.
Photo Credit: UdderCovers.com

 

World Breastfeeding Week is celebrated every year from August 1st-7th in more than 170 countries to encourage breastfeeding and improve the health of babies around the world.

It commemorates the Innocenti Declaration signed in August 1990 by government policymakers, WHO, UNICEF and other organizations to protect, promote and support breastfeeding.

In honor of World Breast Feeding Week, Udder Covers (part of the Seven Slings family) is giving you a FREE nursing cover, you just pay the shipping! This is a $35 value.  Click on this link to claim your FREE nursing cover and be sure to use the code “PJBABY” at checkout!

As you know, we love free around here! (And I know you do, too!) 🙂

300x250 banner

Information source for this post: WHO, World Health Organization.

*This post contains affiliate links.

Continue Reading

Kid President Tells Parents What Kids REALLY Want This Summer!

kid-president
kid-president
Kid President Robby Novak.
Photo Credit: KidPresident.com

Summer is half over (sad thought, eh?) What do you and your family have to show for it? Lots of insta-memories, cute profile pics, lots of “likes,” and fun-sounding Tweets? Well, Kid President Robby Novak has a message for us parents who are tethered to our devices: Put down your smart phone and start living IRL!

That’s right. What kids REALLY want from us this summer is our undivided attention. A WHOLE-vacation, if you will. Time together where we are 100% present and undistracted by work, TV, and social media.

Robby has given families some great advice throughout his Kid President series, which began back in 2012. You might ask how such a young guy is so wise about keeping priorities in check. A recent article on Today Parents discusses Robby’s Osteogenesis Imperfecta diagnosis (a brittle bone condition). Although he’s had over 75 bone breaks since birth, he shines with an attitude of gratitude. He encourages us all to play games, laugh more, and dance.

We can all learn a lot from Kid President Robby Novak! Check out the latest adorable video in the Kid President series, below! KID PRESIDENT: WHAT KIDS REALLY WANT OUT OF A SUMMER VACATION

#wholevacation 🙂

Continue Reading

Sticks & Stones Can Break Our Bones, And Words Can Also Hurt Us: A Note To Adults Who Know Better

Special-Needs-Children-Therapy
Special-Needs-Children-Therapy
Raising Special Needs Children

I don’t usually make blog posts like this that come straight from the heart. Which got me thinking, I’d really like to start being more candid with you guys. It feels good. Will anyone read it? Who knows. Still feels good.

For a moment, I need to take a break from blogging about food and frugality, and talk about how annoyed I am today, and exactly what’s erking me.

I’m mad at adults who should know better.

In the past few weeks, I’ve heard adults throw around the terms, in jest, “short bus,” “retarded,” “special ed,” and more (you get the drift).

Shame on them.

And shame on me, because I used to be an adult who didn’t really think about it when other adults use those words. I didn’t use those words myself, and I knew they were wrong, but I really didn’t let it bother me, and I certainly didn’t speak up.

Until now.

Now I’m on the other side of the spectrum, and I see how terribly hurtful those labels are. And I’m so mad.

You see, our middle child, Adam, is developmentally delayed. He has speech delays, and he has functional communication delays. At 3 years old, he’s never been able to verbalize to us that he’s thirsty, hungry, tired, in pain, or any of the other feelings that most kids are able to communicate to their parents. He’s also never been able to say, “I love you,” and wasn’t able to call us “Mama” or “Daddy” until he was well past 2 years old, which is heartbreaking for a parent. On top of his delays, he’s also got some sensory processing issues that cause him to have sleep disruptions all night long (wanna talk about what ‘tired’ really feels like? I dare ya!), to flap his hands when he’s excited or nervous (which is actually pretty cute – people think he’s waving at them or doing “jazz hands”), to have severe aversions to most foods, to scream bloody murder when he hears violin music (I know…we don’t understand it either), and to have meltdowns in situations that most kids find normal. He’s unable to verbalize emotions, wants, or needs to us, and he spends a good part of the day crying, and sometimes screaming. This is our normal.

I’m leaving out the good stuff. And there’s lots and LOTS of good stuff…just so you know.

In the Fall, Adam will be starting a Special Education pre-school program where he will receive more therapy. We have already been so blessed to have been able to work with our Area Education Agency, and now the school system, over the last couple years to get Adam into an Early Intervention Program that can hopefully get our little guy on track and give him the skills he needs to get his needs met on his own and with our help. And he IS showing improvement, albeit slowly.

As lucky as I’m feeling these days, it comes with a degree of anger, resentment, and defensiveness. Especially when I hear adults, who know better, make off-color comments and use these terms such as “short bus,” “retarded,” and “special ed,” as “funny” insults. It’s not funny.

Because, when it comes right down to it, my son IS a “special ed” student in a wonderful special education program that we feel beyond blessed to be part of. Why do you find this funny?? What humor can you possibly see in this?? And, if I didn’t drive him to school everyday, he would, in fact, ride the “short bus,” in a special seat, with a harness that would keep him safe on the route to school. Yep, my little angel, my little 3 year old ray of sunshine IS a cute little special-ed, short-busser. It’s just a fact. And WHY is this funny to you??

When you say these juvenile things, you may not realize that you’re talking to the parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or teacher of an amazing Special Ed student who is a bright and wonderful blessing to them every single day. In my heart, I know that you most likely mean no harm, but YOU don’t realize that I secretly want to punch you in the gut and make you feel as sick as your comments just made me. However, I would never do that because I have class AND I’m not a violent person in real life (plus I’m a wimp and it wouldn’t hurt you anyway). Just sayin’.

So please just stop it. Stop with these words that you may have used back in 6th grade, and that weren’t even ok back then. Stop making the world a worse place with your words.

With nearly 6 million kids in the U.S. today now diagnosed with some form of disability*, chances are you’re going to hurt someone in the room deeply or piss someone off…perhaps multiple people, and you should really care about that.
And if you don’t care about that, then I hope it’s your boss that you accidentally offend. And I hope they fire you.

What do you think? Do you agree with me or do you want to tell me to lighten up? Let me know, below!
YOUR EMAIL WILL NEVER SHOW UP IN COMMENTS, ONLY YOUR NAME.

*Statistic Source: http://www.npr.org/2014/08/19/341674577/whats-behind-the-stark-rise-in-childrens-disabilities

Continue Reading

10 Reasons Frugal Parents Should Join Amazon Prime. TODAY.

amazon-prime

With all the TV commercials about the upcoming Amazon Prime Day, I have to admit, I was intrigued. Most of my friends and a lot of my family members are already taking advantage of all the savings Amazon Prime has to offer. Even my oldest son is a member, and he’s sold on it! As the frugal mom I am, I did my research and found a lot of really great reasons for frugal parents like you & me to just go ahead, take the plunge, and JOIN!

amazon-prime
10 Reasons Frugal Parents Should Join Amazon Prime. Today.

1. Diaper deals! Amazon prime is one of the most popular places for amazing deals on diapers. Prime members who Subscribe & Save can get a 20% discount and enjoy diapers shipped right to their door for as low as 20 cents per diaper!

2. Awesome deals on feeding supplies. 30% off those fancy, expensive baby bottles? Yes please!

3. Free 2-day shipping. Can’t get out of the house because you’re bogged down with boogers and painted in poo? Me too. With FREE Two-Day Shipping from Amazon Prime, your shopping problems are solved.

4. Sleep deprived parents forget stuff. I get like 4 hours of sleep a night, so carting my Littles through the store trying to remember everything on my list just doesn’t work. I always forget stuff, yet another reason why I have an online shopping addiction. With Amazon Prime, its no problem. Just get online while baby naps, click, and you’re done. It arrives so fast I barely even had time to remember I forgot it…wait, forgot what?

5. I love gift-giving, but it never fails that every event just seems to sneak up on me too fast. 2 day shipping saves me when I need to find a unique gift and get it there QUICK!

6. Unlimited photo storage. Is your smart phone overflowing with photos of Junior? Not a problem with Amazon Prime’s unlimited photo storage! Your cherished moments are safe on Amazon Cloud Drive and accessible from anywhere!

7. Access to movies, music, and Kindle books. Never fret again about heading out in the rain or cold to rent movies for the kids. With Amazon Prime, books, movies, and music are included in your membership and available to you at the touch of a button.

8. They have awesome Baby Registry benefits, including discounts of 10-15% off remaining registry items!

9. All of this is available to you for only $99/YEAR…and you can try it for free now for 30 days!

10. Tomorrow is Amazon Prime Day! WOO HOO! Don’t you want to take advantage of even more deals than you see on Black Friday??? So do I! 🙂 But Amazon Prime Day deals are only available to Amazon Prime members! So, what are you waiting for, you money-saving frugal parent, you? JOIN TODAY! 🙂

Continue Reading

Frugal Splurge: Ipsy Glam Bag July 2015

Ipsy Glam Bag July 2015

As you know, I’m pretty frugal. After all, it’s the subject of this blog! I love looking and feeling good, but I just don’t delegate much of our monthly budget to that. However, at only $10 a month, my Ipsy Glam Bag is one of my favorite little mini splurges.
I’ve been subscribing to Ipsy for about 2 years now, and I just love the products I get every month. I’ve tried many different box subscriptions over the years, but Ipsy is now my one & only, because I feel it’s the best value.
I’d say that my beauty routine is made up mostly of Ipsy products. Since I don’t wear makeup often, my Ipsy products last me a really long time, so I get my money’s worth.

https://www.ipsy.com/new?refer=6jai
Ipsy Glam Bag July 2015

Each month Ipsy sends 5 great, generously-sized products, all packaged in a cute makeup bag. The shipping package is even cute and makes opening the mailbox a fun experience!

My July 2015 Ipsy Glam Bag contained the following items:

1. Teeez Cosmetics Read My Lips Lipstick
2. Jelly Pong Pong 2-in-1 Eyeliner & Eyeshadow
3. Pur-Lisse Pur~Bright Ultra Skin Brightening Serum
4. Crown Brush tweezers
5. Octavio La Playa Sea Salt Spray

Ipsy Glam Bag July 2015
Ipsy Glam Bag July 2015

Ipsy is just $10 a month, and contains 5 generously sized health and beauty products in each Glam Bag. Interested in signing up? CLICK HERE!

Continue Reading